Bugger him

Can i just ask you why you even care ?

I suspect that you were to busy to grieve and the way he left was awful and cowardly.

He only matters if you let him matter. Are you using him as an excuse to not be happy or move on.

Forget the circumstances you get to choose, you are now in control and its 30 yrs ago ! let go get on with your life and be honest with yourself.

Look What you have achieved.

O x