Hi Jessica

Firstly soory for the loss of your cousin.

What a wonderfully brave and very dignified lady his wife is, what a shame that his family did not afford her the same courtsey that she afforded them...

Despite how they treated her over that 15 years, over her own grief and distress, she put his family first, she ascknowledged them and gave them the chance to bid him farewell... at the cost of being there herself...

I admire his wife greatly and think what a wodnerful woman she is and what a loss to his family...

His family should hang their heads in shame and disgrace....she was his choice, his love not theirs....what a shame they had no christian spirit and good upbringing and take the view........ ok we dont approve or like you but for our son/brother/grandson/copusin/adn friend we will be polite to her and tollerarte her....

I may say I also admire your cousin for the deep deep love he had for this woman, and that he had the courage to carry on with his life regardsless of thier view...

If your sistuation is the same or similar then might one suggest that you talk this over with your OH first, just ot check how his view is on what should happen at that time.......

He may very well feel the same as you , but on the other hand he may not....

Again I cannot praise your cousins wife highly enough.........at one of the most distressing times in her life she gave people who treated her very badly and gave her no respect.......What dignity and strength of forgivennes and courage she showed....

Jacqueline