Hi IfDanny

Deja-vue...........!!

I could've written exactly, word for word as you have done a few years ago. At that time, I worked part time, but that's the only time I felt anything but invisible once the kids had gone and husband so involved with work, I was a sideline.

I obviously don't know your husband, but is he someone you could talk to about how your are feeling and where the next stage of both your lives might evolve together ?? Maybe he truly doesn't understand, or even realise, Mars, Venus etc.

My ex was unapproachable, too involved in work, had no friends of his own and totally not into talking, and I tried very hard for years, but he would walk out on me. He realised his folly when it was too late, but by then, it was too late for me. We are still great friends, share the house, but have our own lives really, though still tied together with the business we are partners in..

3 years on, I am still coming to terms with being me and doing what is right for me and no-one else, it still feels alien to me, but it feels great when I decide something purely for me.

I obviously don't advocate this, but as a starting point, you need to try and discuss how you feel with OH and then intersperce trying to do things together with stuff just for you. All the clubs would be a good idea, if there are any around you, or maybe some voluntary work if you have time, just something where you find yourself again. We spend a lifetime of being somebodies something, now could be a new beginning of a new YOU !!

I really do understand exactly how you feel though and I'm sure a lot of us do......... Keep getting support from us all when you need to and joing in the Lives site too.

Take care.

Carsma x