Alison, firstly stop trying to keep it together, let it go, better out than in, R E L E A S E, then relax a little and take stock. You will think more clearly after that. Of course you may just tell me to push off. I have broad shoulders.

I used to rage at the furniture, go for a drive late a t night, open my car window and scream at God exactly what I thought of him. The I'd pull over and cry, go home have a hot chocolate and watch a dvd or go to bed wrapped in something comforting.

My marriage ended in violence after thirty years. Bit of a shock.

Anyhow, the distance you have between you both has nade it quite easy to not show his feelings had changed, or what had made his feelings change. Living that far apart for a long time makes it easy for him to turn up, be delightful, put on an act for a few days, then go back to his world. It also make sit easy for you to miss vital signs of change in his behaviour.

I learnt only recently that a man who is looking adoringly at you may actually be weighing you up and making decisions about what he wants. I really recognise that one, but only with hindsight and information.Anyhow these adoring glances mask the reality.

I am reckoning your daughter is quite grown up now. Perhaps as a young girl she recognised something inhim that you couldn't see, or perhaps she just missed her dad too much to acept him. Don't torture yourself over those issues. It's a done thing.

Your future? Not to concern you now. Right now you need to get over the shock and hurt, and let yourself heal. Make no major ,decisions, mark time. And most of all look after yourself
xx G