Just to say that my Husband is always polite to my son, and very kind, though of course very frustrated at times. Because my son has a learning disability life can be very difficult for all of us. My Husband is just himself and only ask that my son is polite to him.This boundary works.I think Counsellling is a good idea for the children also, it can be a minefield for them, and very confusing being in different place with different house rules.
I hope very much that things work out for you.Life is a gift, isnt it and is to belived the best way we can. Choosing a partner who already has children will never be easy but it can be worked at !