what a tricky one for you.

my OH and i have been together nearly 10 years now, he has four girls i have a son and a daughter, he had custody, we all lived together in one house.

It was hardly ever like the waltons! more like a cross between the osbornes and the simpsons families! sometimes it was Great, mostly just ok, and often hellish. at one point we had 6 teenagers, there were times when i could have walked, but i didn't

I appreciate your situation is not the same. One of the most worrying things for me was the strength of the emotions i felt it was quite scary, i consider myself easy going, friendly, but i nearly turned into a screaming fishwife, filled with envy and jealousy, so i know how scary it is.

i have a couple of thoughts, so bare with me, why do you not go with your partner, you are an important part of his life and you should be included in some of these visits, your partner maybe needs to stand up for you and tell his children that you are essential to his wellbeing. The children are not small and maybe they need to make a bit of effort too for their dad and you. he could ask them, and tell them the horrid texts are not acceptable behaviour.

Maybe invite them to visit you for them to see you as a couple, and put on a united front.

Our family is nearly all grown up now and luckily for us we all get on, it was hellish but remember that the primary relationship in the family is that of you and your partner, if that goes pear-shaped, then the fall out from that would be felt by everyone .

I would enjoy the time with your children when he is away, dont feel guilty for this, thats just how it is.

it seems a long way away, but one day they will have all grown up, left home and lead busy lives. we hardly ever hear from our 6 children, so i guess they are gettin on with it! until they need something.!

As my mum would say dont sweat the small stuff. Good luck with everything,thinking of you X