Oh dear my heart sank when I read this ....I have had similar problems for the last 25 years. It all probably boils down to one thing...you have taken her son away from her .They are jealous of you and seek to drive a wedge between you both. In fact by not asking after you shows they are selfish people , you are getting the message that your opinions and your interests are of no value. The only way to deal with this , and I speak from experience is to accept that they are not going to change. Both you and your OH need to be a united front on this and do not accept this rudeness. Only by him taking a stand will it get better, otherwise you will always be the second best. And it will drive a wedge between you both.