I think this is one of the worst feelings as there is a complete loss of control and a fear of the unknown. A five year plan is always very helpful. You cant change today but you can change tommorrow. Inspire yourself and feed your self esteem. Just for you. Try going to see the Mamma Mia film with a couple of girly friends and lunch at a truly inspiring place. I reccommend Cardiff Bay for its european feel, wear dressy dresses you wont be out of place. as far as your man goes, well an affair is a shortcut to physical pleasure and ego boosting. Look at ways of having unencumbered times together in new places, the hurt will subside but needs to be replaced by new experiences and feelings. Hope you keep well.