Hi Oscar 11, No one told us about this stage did they? As far as I can remember once son/daughter at uni that was suppose to be the hard bit over. If only. Just like you daughter did her degree and got a good grade but at the end of three years returned to think about the future!! Isn't that what they went to uni for. She returned home, the same home that for three years she swore she wouldn't live in again. Not that she wasn't welcome its just that I thought that all our lives had moved on. Once home did as you described lazing around so used the money thing and once she realised no loan due in her bank account she started looking properly. As she wanted money she found a temporary job but it wasn't what she went to uni for. Eventually found something that appealed nearby. Part of me was glad but the part of me that still had chaos around ie phone ringing late at night, music loud , arguing with her brother and generally being quite rude. Of course DADDY saw none of this it was all my fault. Worse part was getting a boyfriend who's own father said she was too good for him so that says it all. Eventually met lovely guy changed jobs again and moved in together. Now the house is quiet, the phone doesn't ring as much and the brother doesn't roar with laughter at her. Trust me Oscar your daughter has kept everything together for three years and I honestly think that they enjoy coming back home and reverting to the little girl stage. She is scared that the future is there waiting for her and she has no idea what to do. Let her slob for awhile then with love she will realise that she has both parents support with whatever she decides. Trust me she will also realise that Daddy has faults as well as mums. Sue