Hi, I'm in the same boat really. D. has returned home as a post grad. and has decided to do a Masters next year, partly I feel because she couldnt think of what else to do.
she was too late in applying for some of the other things that interested her. I find that in some ways she resents me sticking my nose in her life, but on a deeper level she is afraid because she does not know what the future holds and she has no real direction.I took her moodiness as being too grown up,to put up with Mum, but when I pushed her to talk about her plans, the tears started and it turned out she was resisting me because she was scared and didnt know which way to turn.She may be 21 but she still needs some help and now she is ready to accept it.
After she returns from holiday and graduation we are going to sit down together and look at the various options.
Just because you have a degree it doesn't mean you are "grown up"!
Like your daughter Oscar, she misses her friends and a certain level of independence, I am prepared to be the "harder" parent, Dad just pays the bills, but I am there to guide and support her.
Joan.