Just a thought...but why doesnt your OH pay his sister a visit in the US? She may "Want to get away" from it all but having no control over her spending means that she doesnt have that option. You can help, you can be there for her, just dont get sucked into the mess that would appear to be her life. Keep a little emotional distance...very easy to say, very difficult to do. Tough love doesnt only apply to children...siblings and sometimes parents have to be the recipients of tough love to help them see that thier lives are out of control and unacceptable. Good luck.