Kaye23, I found it very hard when my ex remarried and wanted my d. to spend time with him and his new wife, but I put up with it, was careful not to criticise and in fact tried to get my d. to tolereate the "new woman" in his life. I discovered there was a sort of bonus - I actually got some time to myself, and once I got over the initial strangeness of it, it was quite nice to give myself a little bit of personal time.

You've been given lots of good advice - I would let the children go to their father's, and when they do, take that time for yourself - relax, give yourself whatever treat your budget will run to - a peaceful afternoon witha magazine, or some new nail polish or a massage, or time spent having coffee with a friend.

Your children will make their own judgements about your ex and his girlfriend.