Hi Kaye. I haven't been there but I know someone for whom that kind of pain stayed with her for years and years. If your ex is staying with this woman long term then it seems inevitable that your children will be spending time with them both. You don't say how young they are. I feel for you. I know anyone would feel exactly as you do. I suppose the most important thing is to do the right thing for your children so it is really all about WHEN they start visiting them as a couple. If you are not ready (and will you ever feel as if you are) then stall until you can get some help from people who have been there, who I am sure will be sending you their wisdom on this forum. x