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nowcemsi
member


Reged: 24/06/2008
Posts: 273
Why
      #166413 - 11/08/2008 18:31

musing here, whenever I get correspondence from a certain family member I am physically sick and then I cry.

I know I sound pathetic but I cant work out why I do this;


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marymary
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Reged: 16/05/2007
Posts: 728
Re: Why [Re: nowcemsi]
      #166490 - 11/08/2008 19:49

You don't sound pathetic, Nowcemsi - those are very strong reactions to something I would imagine you're either feeling or thinking, deep down, about that person or about a particular situation linked to that person.

Perhaps it would help to try to identify what you're feeling when your body produces those strong responses? You could try to name the feelings: eg fear, disgust, hatred, etc. Then you could perhaps try to work out why you feel those things: eg I feel xxx because xxx. That might help you to work out why correspondence from that person makes you respond in the way you do.

If it's something you feel you can't cope with on your own, maybe you should seek some kind of counselling?

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xxxSummerxxx
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Reged: 29/03/2008
Posts: 5758
Loc: Billericay,Essex
Re: Why [Re: marymary]
      #166525 - 11/08/2008 20:25

Hi Ya,
I understand it must be very difficult to perhaps explain to the whole Forum what has happened to make you feel this way.Is there anyone you can pm that would listen. I do hope so ...

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marymary
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Reged: 16/05/2007
Posts: 728
Re: Why [Re: xxxSummerxxx]
      #166555 - 11/08/2008 20:52

Nowcemsi, I wasn't for one minute suggest you explain your thoughts and feeling to the whole forum! It was just a suggestion for something you could think about yourself.

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xxxSummerxxx
member


Reged: 29/03/2008
Posts: 5758
Loc: Billericay,Essex
Re: Why [Re: marymary]
      #166564 - 11/08/2008 20:58

Mary , I didnt think you were suggesting that either :-)

I think that your suggestions were very good :-)

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issi
member


Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3277
Loc: Surrey
Re: Why [Re: xxxSummerxxx]
      #166657 - 11/08/2008 22:43

Hi Nowcemsi. As you can probably guess, we can't work it out if you can't get to the bottom of it either. I hope you feel better by now. If not, just remember there are lots of supportive women out there. There are so many triggers to our emotions and they can kick in just when we think things are ok. Have a good cry and pull yourself in again. That is all we can do sometimes.

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buckup
member


Reged: 08/04/2008
Posts: 77
Loc: whitstable Kent
Re: Why [Re: issi]
      #166757 - 12/08/2008 08:50

I know how you feel because I left my husband 2 years ago bacause he became impossible to live with. However I still loved him and the guilt just wont go away. I'm living with another man but when mu ex's name is mentioned by other family members of I see pics of him or the kids talk about him I weep Oh how I weep........just cant move on...I so wish I could...so you are not alone.....emotions are a difficult thing and certainly take me by surprise....loads of love

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nowcemsi
member


Reged: 24/06/2008
Posts: 273
Re: Why [Re: buckup]
      #166983 - 12/08/2008 15:04

I was really asking if anyone else had ever felt that way and buckup gave me the answer:)

Thank you ladies for your replies

I am going through a sort of divorce and the person hurt me so much that even contact with them makes me ill, to here their voice, to read a letter or an email ruins my whole day.

But today I am feeling better!


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OzzieKez
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Reged: 21/06/2008
Posts: 2627
Loc: Queensland, Australia
Re: Why [Re: nowcemsi]
      #167410 - 13/08/2008 01:59

Promise it will pass, nowcemsi! It takes time....but it WILL pass! They say the death of a marriage like grieving, you go through the five stages.....
Sorry about the cliches but; "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!", and this isn't going to kill you.
Hope you find peace and acceptance soon. Undoubtly something wonderful will come out of this! Truely!

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issi
member


Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3277
Loc: Surrey
Re: Why [Re: OzzieKez]
      #167520 - 13/08/2008 11:39

I don't know if this will help but I remember seeing a programme with Paul McKenna where he had a client just like you. She had been split for a long time from her ex but could not move on even though her life was ok in all other ways. PMK "cured" her by saying that her mind was stuck on the track with the ex and she had to get out of it. He asked her to focus on the things about him that she did not like, and other negative aspects of their relationship. I don't remember if there were PMK techniques as well but I do remember that after the session, when he asked if she would like to see her ex she said "ugh, no." She left very happy and said she had no more thoughts about him. She was glad to be free.

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