joannes
member
Reged: 26/01/2008
Posts: 3
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This is going to sound so silly to those of you who have seen their children off to uni or to join the army,etc. It
sounds silly to me considering I spent half my married life on my own as my husband was in the forces! Our only daughter gave her job up on Thursday, with our blessing, as her boss was a nightmare and I know you have to face this in life, but as long as we can protect her from these things we will! We talked it all through and told her we would support her any way we could. Next thing we know she has been booked on flights, all expenses paid, to the USA by her boyfriend, who is travelling there with his family, the next day! Now, while I can see this as a marvellous opportunity and maybe one you can only avail yourself of when you are 22, I felt she should have been here looking for a new job. My heart is also breaking because I just plain miss her so much - yes, I know she is only gone for a fortnight but that is not stemming the flowing tears at the minute - is there anyone out there who understands how I feel or am I super-pathetic?
great as that opportunity is, I thought it was a bit rich
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Sunbeam
member
Reged: 09/05/2008
Posts: 2480
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No Joannes, you're not pathetic it's that invisible umbilical cord I think it's there forever! you'll feel better soon, it all just happened so quick, and she'll have a fantastic time and then come home to Mum, enjoy the peace.......
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salgash
member
Reged: 02/07/2007
Posts: 246
Loc: Gloucestershire
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Probabley not what you want to hear - when you were 22 years old which would you rather have done, spend two weeks with your boyfriend in the USA or two weeks at home with your mum?
If she has her holiday now and then gets a job it is easier rather than start a new job then ask for time off.
Don't be upset she is just doing what 22 year olds do and you are just being a mum. There will be plenty of time when she gets back to spend time with each other and hear about the good time she had. Be pleased for her.
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Dukkha
member
Reged: 07/06/2008
Posts: 2
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It is only two weeks and if her job has been hard and difficult she needs a break. Two weeks more in the job hunt is neither here nor there.
You have to let her enjoy her life while the offers are there rather than store regrets.
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Silver
member
Reged: 28/01/2008
Posts: 112
Loc: Didsbur, South Manchester
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Joannes,
"What are you like" she has only gone for a couple of weeks, and sounds like she had a stressful time at work, so lets hope she has a great time in USA.
Back to you though, you just love your daughter and that is what we are all like, I hate it when mine go off travelling...she will be back soon.
Silver
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I have three daughters, two grown up and married and one teenager, and I love cats.
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Glitterqueen
member
Reged: 11/01/2008
Posts: 1495
Loc: Essex
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Joannes tell me about it! I used to think empty-nesting was something to look foward to but it hit me hard!!(and my 3 still actually live at home!) I think when my youngest left full time education last year I suddenly thought to myself, what now? who am I? (still struggling with that). Added to that my eldest completed his degree and in January disappeared off around the world.
Actually my OH asked me if he should be encouraging our eldest to get a job rather than jaunting off around the world. I completely supported my son even though I knew I would miss him like crazy. Two weeks might not fly by for you but it will probably to her the world of good and plenty of time to job hunt when she returns and think how much you will enjoy having her home 
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gigi
member
Reged: 12/04/2008
Posts: 1985
Loc: Hampshire
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GQ I too am struggling with what to do and what's left of me. I have depleted from a family of 6 to just me and ED, for the moment. Some days I seriously consider putting everything into storgae and having and adventure. The only thing stopping me is cash, but I am working on that.
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issi
member
Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3277
Loc: Surrey
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Joannes you are a lovely, warm, caring mum who just wants to keep her chicks at home. I cried buckets (and out loud) when my daughter went away for a 2-week holiday with her friend and friends family prior to leaving for university. It helped when I had to let her go properly afterwards. You are as normal as me (don't anwer that!!!)
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Appleblossom
member
Reged: 15/10/2007
Posts: 241
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I don't think anything prepares you for the empty nest. I have gone from a family of 5 to just myself - not even an incentive to do nice meals. I look back now at my younger self and realise just what my own parents went through when I left home.
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 4425
Loc: South London
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Hi Joannes and a warm welcome to the forum
Your daughter is only going for two weeks and if her boss was so awful it is probably good she is having a break before job hunting. She needs to have a complete break and put some distance between her boss and herself. Which is exactly what she is doing. When she comes back she will be revitalized and brimming with confidence and ready for the job application and interview rollercoaster.
It is hard when your chicks grow up, but remember, it is only au revoir and not goodbye. Be proud of her and of yourself. You did a good job as a mum and your little chick has learnt to fly!
Foxie
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In your journey through life, take what works for you and let the rest go. Susan Jeffers
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xxxSummerxxx
member
Reged: 29/03/2008
Posts: 5758
Loc: Billericay,Essex
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My Children are still at home too but i am aware they really dont need me as much,i do feel loved by them but they really do have their own lives.I think one of the reasons im enjoying the Forum so much is that i know it will open doors esp for Friendship,its a lovely way to meet Ladies that want to laugh,shop and cry with me(aaaaahhh)
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Glitterqueen
member
Reged: 11/01/2008
Posts: 1495
Loc: Essex
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Quote:
M laugh,shop and cry with me(aaaaahhh)
You missed out ......... and go to pub with me lol
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CheshireCat
member
Reged: 04/03/2006
Posts: 258
Loc: Cheshire
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Oh dear, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. After months of forward planning, and looking forward to, my only son has left home this week and moved into a flat with all his Uni mates. He is only about 10 miles away but I am really upset by it. OH came home the other night and found me sobbing (and trust me, I am not usually a weeper!)
It's a strange old feeling. I know he is growing up and moving on but the reality really hit me hard.
Don't think anyone ever prepared me for this 
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xxxSummerxxx
member
Reged: 29/03/2008
Posts: 5758
Loc: Billericay,Essex
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Only just read that re going to pub with you Glitter,how did i miss it.....
Yes pub with you sounds great idea.
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Sonata
member
Reged: 21/12/2006
Posts: 364
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My daughter has only gone away for the weekend and I'm bereft!! Gawd knows what I shall do when she goes off to Uni.
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Debs45
member
Reged: 20/06/2008
Posts: 2
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Hi
Know how you feel, my son moved out just before Christmas and my daughter is off to uni this October. Suddenly i felt redundant no one needs me. my hubby works late so when i get home there is no one here and I find i'm eating tea on my own more and more.
To add to the problem i left my job as i am so mixed up would love to just drop everything and go back packing,but money and hubby are a problem.
I cannot believe i feel like this it is the strangest feeling to try to put in to words. I know things will get better and i am so proud of both my kids. i know they will have a great time, maybe that is the problem where does my fun come from now that they have flown the nest.
Sorry for being so... whatever the word is. Hope your daughter has a fab holiday.
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issi
member
Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3277
Loc: Surrey
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Hi Debs. I have been exactly where you are, as I am sure lots of people have been. I know just how you feel. It is a lonely time for you and you will find yourself going through some funny stages. For instance when I was lonely and did not know what to do with myself my daughter would come home from university and I became 'mum' again. Then she would go and I would be redundant again. Looking back I realise that what I really missed was the certainty of the routine which had been in place for so many years. Husband went to work, child to school, I took care of everything that mattered, then child was home at 4.30 and husband home later. Life had a predictablility which has now gone and it becomes much more like the life you had before you had children. Think of that, what were you like before you had a family? Well, say hello, you are back! Give it time.
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