aggipanthus
member
Reged: 05/04/2006
Posts: 179
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'Suddenly the back door flew open'....
The opening line of a short story, no more than a hundred words in length....here's mine.
Suddenly the back door flew open. Rain and leaves began to cover the kitchen floor. Somewhere in the house I heard breaking glass as doors slammed. Then the lights suddenly went out, and the wall clock fell to the floor, smashing into pieces. In the confusion I accidentally poured boiling water over my hand instead of into the teapot, and as I jumped back I cursed the fact I was barefoot as I cut myself on a shard of glass. In the doorway stood a wizened old woman wrapped in an army greatcoat.
'Lucky heather dearie?' she asked.
Your turn, any budding/interested writers.
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nannyconnie
member
Reged: 05/03/2008
Posts: 482
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That is fabulous,I really admire you writers on here and I certainly look forward to some other efforts(not mine you notice!!!1)Thanks a lot for this super post.
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Ashbee
member
Reged: 13/06/2008
Posts: 1094
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I'm up for the challenge, Gothfairy - just need a wee while to come up with something worth offering...watch this space!
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AlexP
member
Reged: 28/12/2007
Posts: 543
Loc: Southampton
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Here's my, not very good, contribution!:
"Suddenly the door flew open – startled and incredulous, Mary leapt up to embrace the man standing at the open doorway. She had been absorbed in watching the flames of a fire lit in defiance of the damp evening - her thoughts revolving around the long months she and this man had been apart, the obstacles there had been to their future together and whether she would ever see him again. Now, as she embraced him, Mary felt her anxiety ebb away, until all that remained was the realisation that Roland had returned to her and their life together could begin."
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AlexP
member
Reged: 28/12/2007
Posts: 543
Loc: Southampton
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I meant to say, I loved your contribution gothfairy! xx
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Sella_Vee
member
Reged: 03/04/2008
Posts: 949
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Thanks for this, gothfairy, it caught my eye as I was browsing the main index. Here goes:
Suddenly the back door flew open and in charged a bundle of red faced fury, yelling "Mum, tell him!".
Noting that this was still week one of the school holidays, I knelt down and asked "What's the matter, James?"
"It's Alex," he replied, "he won't let me into the tree house. He's pulled up the ladder and he won't let it down again. And he won't listen to me when I call him."
As tears of frustration brimmed in my son's eyes I sighed inwardly at the thought of the two weeks ahead, and wondered, yet again, whether I had been wise to invite his step brother to stay.
I'm a few words over, is that critical?
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Ashbee
member
Reged: 13/06/2008
Posts: 1094
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I'm not sure we'd have counted the number of words but now you mention it...
I am impressed with everyone's efforts - well done everyone. Now, where did I put my pencil...
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Chatelaine
member
Reged: 23/08/2007
Posts: 3345
Loc: A village somewhere on the Con...
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Ooohhh, I love all your contributions!! Also love the diversity!!
Well, here goes mine.....
Suddenly the door flew open. "Here they are, Sir!"
Looking up from his papers, David's breath caught, as his aide excitedly ushered two youths and a girl towards his monumental desk. Transfixed David got up. For years he had been hoping and praying for this reunion, and now that moment had come. They were here. And yes, he could see that they were his, for they were like clones, especially the girl. As he wrapped them in his arms, and the first burning tears trickled down his cheeks, all he could think was "Damn you Uncle, if only I could remember them....."
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Chatelaine
member
Reged: 23/08/2007
Posts: 3345
Loc: A village somewhere on the Con...
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While finishing off the dishes (Yes, I wash them by hand!) the following sprung to mind......
Suddenly the door flew open, and with an ear shattering bang hit a 17th century oak heirloom. Nonplussed his Lordship declared "11 o'clock!!" and calmly rose from his chair by the fireside. "Nightcap, my dear?" he asked his wife, closing the door, and throwing a percursory glance at the newest dent in his heirloom. Accepting a Drambuie from her husband, her Ladyship offhandedly stated that she'd ask the butler to have Lord Percy's ancient chest moved.
The couple did not pay heed to Lord Percy's frustrated moan, floating up the stairs to the bell tower, wondering how to get rid of them!
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Ashbee
member
Reged: 13/06/2008
Posts: 1094
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Ok, first attempt...
Suddenly the back door flew open and he stood, filling the doorway with his youthful bulk, eyes flashing with excitement and both fists punching the air in a speedy action. He let loose a triumphant scream that ripped through the air: Yes! Yes! Yessssss! I smiled and nodded my approval but inside my heart sank. He had passed and another young driver is let loose on the innocent travelling public.
And of course I knew what would come next. I looked at him, waiting… Mum,can I borrow your car tonight?
Ah yes, I thought. Now it begins …
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saraw
member
Reged: 08/03/2007
Posts: 272
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Suddenly the back door flew open and Jane could eventually put the heavy shopping bags down. She could hear the TV in the next room, they were home. Mum are you back? came the cry - she felt like shouting who do you think it was! Santa Claus. Whats for Tea? came the reply. She had worked a solid 8 hours called in the supermarket on the way home. Not a dish washed, a welcome cup of tea would have been nice. The work of a women was never done!! I know, what would happen if i made them something really good like fried toads legs or sparrow pie now that would really fun - she smiled to herself as she unpacked the bags.
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billie
member
Reged: 21/11/2007
Posts: 85
Loc: Derbyshire
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Never ever done anything like this before so here goes:-
Suddenly the back door flew open and my husband threw his workbag on the floor along with his keys." Well that's it" he said "No more driving". My heart sank the expected redundancy had actually happened. Now what I thought! However are we going to cope! I picked up the laundry basket with tears already rolling down my cheeks and without uttering a word headed outside for the washing line. Seconds later two strong arms encicled my waist from behind, that's when I knew! No matter what, together we were strong and we'd survive.
Just to say have enjoyed everyones up to now. What a briil exercise!
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Ashbee
member
Reged: 13/06/2008
Posts: 1094
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Oh, this can become addictive...another offering:
Suddenly the back door flew open and a figure in a cape and mask stood, hands on hips. I’ve come for you, he said, his voice thick and golden. My stomach flipped, my knees went weak. But the washing up, I simpered as the masked man led me by the dripping marigolds to the kitchen table, recently cleared of the lunch plates. A hand ran eagerly along my thigh and I sighed low with pleasure.
Nice tattoo, I breathed into his ear, my husband has one just like that…
I smiled. So he had remembered my fantasy
Tee hee!!!
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Chickadee
member
Reged: 28/03/2008
Posts: 3748
Loc: South Wales
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A faint sound drew me to the edge of the path. An owl fluttered desperately against the fence, its wing caught and twisted on the spines of wire. “Poor thing,” I whispered, and gently moved towards it, pinioning its free wing with one hand while I worked to loose the other. The owl looked at me, its round eyes unreadable. Once freed, it perched on my hand for a moment, its talons fierce and sharp so I cried with pain. Hesitantly, it lifted itself skywards, wings moving unevenly until it found balance and rhythm and soared.
I am that owl, but who will free me?
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aggipanthus
member
Reged: 05/04/2006
Posts: 179
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Not that I'm any expert, but some good responses here... as to the word count, if you were entering a competition or submitting to a magazine, then yes, it would be important to stick to the limit set otherwise your story is just discarded, no matter how brilliant it might be. And if it were a real exercise, or again a competition entry, it would have to begin with the set words as well. Ashbee... now here's me thinking you and Mr A were a nice, normal couple.....!!!!!!!!
So does anyone want to set a similar exercise in a couple of weeks time, or shall I do it again, I don't mind.
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aggipanthus
member
Reged: 05/04/2006
Posts: 179
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Just a thought... is one exercise every couple of weeks about right, does anyone have any thoughts on this?
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saraw
member
Reged: 08/03/2007
Posts: 272
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Gothfairy - brilliant idea, never done anything like that before. One every week if you can keep the ideas coming would be fine!
Sara
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Chatelaine
member
Reged: 23/08/2007
Posts: 3345
Loc: A village somewhere on the Con...
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Haven't a clue what the "going rate" (i.e. how often....) would and should be for such an exercise......  Do hasten to admit though that I thoroughly enjoyed it, and thankfully destagnated that particular part of my brain some already.  Perchance the end of this accursed writer's block????
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Sella_Vee
member
Reged: 03/04/2008
Posts: 949
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Gothfairy, I'd like one every week too. I haven't done anything like this since school.
At first I thought I'd never get to a hundred words, then when I went over that, I quite enjoyed "editing" it to bring it down nearer the target.
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Ashbee
member
Reged: 13/06/2008
Posts: 1094
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Sorry Gothfairy, you've been outvoted - a weekly one (perhaps a Friday challenge?) it is ... but why not let everyone come up with ideas - send them to Gothfairy - like with the eyes down book club - and she can mix them all up and post one on a Friday...
Two rules - must stick to the 100 words max and must start with the original first line - yes, I'm guilty of both but what the heck!
Gothfairy: I did say it was a fantasy - don't think my kitchen table would cope with the weight...
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