Boost your confidence
Terry Tavner
“Patsy’s book is based on The Three Circles Of Energy, which she says govern our personalities. First Circle, the circle of self and withdrawal, is not where I want to be. Second Circle, the energy of connecting, is what we should all be striving for. Third Circle is the circle of bluff and force.
When she arrives, the energy emanating from this 50-something powerhouse is electric. According to Patsy, everyone has presence and it is this energy that unites us all.
‘Let’s talk about you,’ she says. I’m centre stage and not enjoying the spotlight. ‘Four years ago I lost my job. At the same time, I lost my partner of 15 years. And since then I think I might have lost myself too.’ Welcome to First Circle.
Patsy tells me the way I feel is not surprising. ‘Considering what you’ve been through, you’re in good shape. The only problem I can see is there’s a lot of tension in the way you breathe. It’s called the hysterical breath and it’s what we use to protect our hearts. In your case, your heart has been broken.’
At last, someone who understands. But how do you change your breathing habits?
‘Practise,’ says Patsy. ‘Sit on the edge of this chair. Put your elbows on your knees and let your head fall forward and breathe.’
I can feel the difference immediately. It’s impossible to take short, shallow breaths in this position. Instead, my breathing is deep and slow. I realise I am far more aware of my surroundings and I do feel in control.
For the briefest of times I think I did slip into Second circle, and I found it a good place to be. I’m certainly taken with Patsy’s presence and I did come away feeling completely enthused and motivated by her. I’ve continued with the breathing exercises and I’m hoping my presence is improving by the day.”
Patsy's confidence tips
- Keep your shoulders free – make sure you lift and drop them regularly.
- Get up and stretch often. Hold your spine up and release your abdominal muscles. Keep your knees unlocked and feet firmly on the ground.
- Imagine you’re entering a revolving door. Exaggerated energy (Third) will have the doors go round too fast. An apologetic entry (First) will provide a long and clumsy entrance.
- Remember to breathe deeply and calmly. Women tend to snatch breaths, which lifts the voice and makes it squeaky.
- Never copy male habits: women won’t like you, men won’t like you.
- To control a room, breathe in the space.
- Ensure that you are present with your partner and children every day.
- Be aware of different feelings – positive or negative – throughout the day.
Presence: How To Use Positive Energy For Success In Every Situation, by Patsy Rodenburg (Michael Joseph, £10.99).
