Be worry free
Prioritise your concern
Rather than treating all worries with the same level of importance, set a benchmark. Is the worry life-threatening to either you or those you love? Will it leave you emotionally or financially abandoned? Everything else should be put into a sliding scale of categories, ranging from “some concern”
to “minor irritation”. Once you have done that, you can take action accordingly.
New thinking: It may be a worry, but it’s not the end of the world – I am still healthy/in love/have money/a roof over my head.
Calculate the risk
Worry is designed to highlight the potential risk of something bad happening if you keep going as you are. So, when calculating risk, it is actually better to address possible worst case scenarios than to try and avoid thinking about them. That way, if bad things occur, at least you’re prepared. And if they don’t, you can dump the worry early on.
New thinking: Ask yourself “What is the worst thing that can happen?” and “How likely is it to take place?” Most worries fall into the “not a lot” and “unlikely” category.
Be realistic
We live in a society that has extremely high expectations. We want it all, we want it now and it all has to be no less than perfect. But the truth is that life doesn’t run smoothly and if you imagine it does, then your life will always be full of worry. Setting unrealistic goals that exceed your abilities and family and financial limitations is a guaranteed way of making every day riddled with worry.
New thinking: Less than perfect circumstances are normal. Remember that if you hit a problem, you have coped pretty well so far. Bad things happen sometimes – but you can move on.
Do less analysis, more action
The mechanics of worry work like this:
- You tell your brain you are concerned about something.
- Your mind presents you with some possible scenarios.
- You worry.
Sometimes this can motivate you to take positive action. Other times, you just worry about what to do – and do nothing, which is the worst solution of all because your brain keeps reminding you that the problem is still there, so you can’t relax.
New thinking: Action is a powerful antidote to worry. Whatever you do, make a decision to do something – and remember that thinking things through carefully and then deciding to do nothing is still a decision.
Follow the right plan
There is a formula for effective worry management. Isolate the problem. Accept what you can’t change. Assess what is achievable, then break that down into small, manageable steps. This process will provide you with a sense of control, understanding and acceptance of the situation.
New thinking: Think of what you can do, rather than what you can’t. Any action – no matter how small – will still help.
Dump your past worries
Learning to accept and move on will reduce the effects of secondary worries, such as anger, regret and guilt. Remember that there is nothing you can do to change the past, but by setting yourself a positive goal for the future, you can take control of the situation you are in now and make it better.
New thinking: Use your experience of past concerns to help you overcome any future ones more effectively.
Don’t let it take over your life
A worry in one area of your life can pollute the happiness of the rest of it. For example, if you have a work problem, it can spoil a happy home, friendships and your health until, eventually, everything becomes a bigger problem. Focus on what is good in your life and divert your mind with pleasure and satisfaction. Make time to chill out, socialize and work towards achieving a goal you’ve always had, such as learning a new language, doing an evening course or planning a holiday. In the grand scheme of things, these are much more important than spending your time stressing about a difficult work colleague or the fact that the house needs decorating.
New thinking: Schedule a weekly “me” afternoon, or even just an hour, to make your world a less worrying place. Put your concerns on hold and do something relaxing – read a book, escape to your bedroom with a magazine and a cup of coffee, take a long, luxurious bath or watch an old film.
Look after your health
When you’re unhealthy, it makes it much harder to view worry rationally. Eating a high-fat, sugar and salt diet that is low in good nutrition can increase your anxiety, even if there isn’t anything to worry about. This is because a bad diet raises blood sugar levels and triggers an adrenalin rush – a stress response that puts your body into stress mode. Alcohol and caffeine can over-stimulate your system, making it difficult to switch off, and if you think smoking calms your nerves, you’re wrong. According to the Mental Health Foundation, smokers are 16 times more likely to suffer from panic attacks than non-smokers.
New thinking: Your body needs relaxation to restore and rejuvenate, but it’s hard to relax if you’re worried. Don’t leave your mind empty when you rest – fill it with positive thoughts, people and places you love, even if they’re fantasies. Pleasurable diversions boost energy and give your brain a worry-free breathing space.
