Interview with Tess Daly
Tess, 38, lives in London with her husband, TV presenter Vernon Kay, and their daughters Phoebe, four, and baby Amber.
'I miss my dad every day,' she says. 'He died six years ago. I had a dream about him the other day, wearing his favourite shirt; a Hawaiian shirt that he only wore on holiday. It was so real in my dream, and all day I missed him so intensely, with a new sadness. I wish he could have been around to see my children.
My dad is part of my moral fibre. He was a very decent, hard-working man who would never say a bad word about anyone. He had great morals and he taught us manners. Even now, if I put my elbows on the table, I think of my dad saying "elbows off the table".
My dad always worried how my mum would cope when he wasn't around, because she's a so shy. But my mum has really inspired me, because she's come in to her own. She's never once been a martyr, she just got on with it and discovered a whole new side to her life. She'd never been on a plane before she was 60, and now she hops on one at a moment's notice to visit my sister in New Zealand. She's become a grandparent four times over, and has thrown herself into the role of being Granny.
Becoming a parent myself has definitely brought us closer, because I realise what she went through with my sister and me. You take your parents for granted: fact. They're just there for you tending to your every need, selflessly. And you don't realise until you become a parent just how much work it takes. I have a deeper understanding of what she sacrificed for me, and it's made me grow up as a woman.
Having children has centred me. And having a second daughter made everything come full circle - maybe because I'm one of two. My responsibilities as a parent are my top priority, and having another child has cemented that. We're a proper family unit.
I feel very grown-up now. I do have little moments of "Where did my rock 'n' roll youth go?" I can't run out the door any more with the wind in my hair, kicking up my high heels - until the baby and the little one are fine.
I've never been a fan of routine, but having children makes it a necessity. They flourish with routine, whereas I've been avoiding it my whole adult life. I feel restricted by it. But the gains outweigh the sacrifices by leaps and bounds, although I do sometimes lament the days when the two of us could just run out and have dinner together.
There are two things I try and do every day, and that's the school run and bed time. I'll drop off Phoebe and pick her up from school, and she'll want to go to the park or the local tea room for scones. Then it's bath time and Vernon will help out if he's around - under pressure. I aim to have them both in bed by 7.15 then it's "What's for dinner?" time. I'm good at pastas, Vernon's great with the barbie.
I'll allow myself a glass of wine at the end of the day - it just feels like I've earned it. By the time 8pm rolls around and I've done a good 14-hour shift with the children, I'll put my feet up for ten minutes over a glass of rosé. It feels like Mummy's treat.
But my simple pleasure in life is going to the park and playing on the swings with Phoebe. It reminds me of going to the park when I was little. All I needed to make me happy was the swings and the slides. It takes me back to my own childhood and brings it all into perspective.'
Tess is presenting Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday evenings, BBC One.
This is an edited version. To read the full interview with Tess pick up the November issue of Woman & Home, out on Thursday 1 October.
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